She was in pain, yet you did not hold her when she was falling…
Picture courtesy: https://bit.ly/3cKBL2p
They say I am rude. But, what they don’t see is that am bruised too! They call me names. But, what they don’t see is my pain!
I was not what you see of me now. To know me, walk with me, feel me, feel the girl I was 20 years from now. I was lovely, bubbly, happy just like you. I was loved and I had a family too!
I never knew what sorrow was; life was a joyride for me. I never longed for the stars or the moon because to me, the heaven was itself on earth.
But, little did I know that the real world is nothing close to what I had envisioned. The grotesque picture of one horrendous night, the night that shook my life, can never vanish from my sight.
It was one of that fateful night when my entire village got shattered. Goons strode into my village and with them came out their guns and bullets. In the blink of an eye, I saw my village was bathed in a pool of blood!
Flabbergasted I was, the sudden dismal happenings took my breath away.
This was not over yet. The worst was yet to come. One of them saw me amidst the crowd. His eyes caught mine and I could sense the lust on his mind. A feeling of abhorrence shook me. There, I was standing, fully covered, yet felt naked from top to toe!
He came galloping towards me. My father shouted; I was scared to hell. My father came in between, and to my utter agony, in front of my eyes, bullets were pierced into his chest and within a minute or so he laid there flat and motionless. I saw my father breathed his last! But, not a moment I had to grief for the loss of my only hope! I was snatched from him within a spur of moment lest I would run away for my life.
Blindfolded I was, hands tied behind, I had no clue where I was heading to. All I knew was that my journey ahead was horrifying as hell!
Days passed into months and my life turned worse than the worst. I was bruised, I was raped, I was beaten and I bore it all! My entire childhood vanished and I had no help at hand. I cried for days and nights until I could cry no longer. My body ached like hell, inebriated I was most often, and I could not eat a loaf of bread!
But, NO! This is not what it should be. Destiny has had a bigger plan for me!
One day I had the chance to run. Day or night I didn’t know because I was caged in a small black room, however, I felt like it was the wee hour of the morning. I saw the backdoor open(which never was the case ever). Taking the chance, risking my life, I walked stealthily, making sure of not coming across any of the perpetrators. Slowly, but finally, I could come out from that shabby house. Just like a silver lining, I saw the flickering of daylight and it aroused a ray of hope. I ran and ran and ran. I ran for days and nights. Exhaustion was killing me, my feet were hurting like anything, but the prospect of a better tomorrow never let me stop. My heart ran through a gamut of emotion; a sense of joy from being freed but about of sadness at having lost everything. And there I was, crying inconsolably with no shoulder to lean on!
I was no longer a hostage, I thought my struggle ended there. I was relieved! But alas! Only of it were true!
Years passed on and I moved on from there, but still my life turned no better.
People judged my existence.They whispered about me wherever I set my feet.I became the talk of the town. I was not somebody who people felt happy to be around with.
But, what was my fault?
Ans: I was raped!! They say I am no longer pure because I am no virgin. But does virginity defines the purity of my soul?
Was I to be blamed for the pain invoked upon me?Was it my choice to be raped and to lose myself? Was I really guilty?
Questions and more questions! But, what goes unnoticed to them is the palpable feeling of hopelessness at having lost everything. The truth is, no matter how hard you try, you end up being a slut in people’s eyes. Bereaved, desolate, heartbroken and no more adjectives to define my state! I finally gave up. I stopped proving them wrong. I decided to work for what I am known. I finally turned into the one that society called me. Yes, I turned into a “slut”!!
The society made me a Slut!!!
Disclaimer: The girl in the story is a purely imaginary character, however, the inspiration of the story comes from someday to day happenings that I came across through various other social media platform. In a way, I tried to fit myself into the shoes of many such girls who had to make some life-changing decisions to avoid the wrath of society. It is not a happy ending, but anything and everything can turn into a happy picture if we want. Let’s strive together in unison to make “her” feel loved and let her know that she is a fighter and not just a survivor. Let’s not give in to negativity but focus on being the positive soul.
P.S: This article got featured in a Medium Publication “Beyourself”. Ths link is: https://byrslf.co/she-fought-it-all-yet-you-failed-her-82de3b70ca87